So what the crap happened last time we had/named a baby?
Right. Last time.
We were really struggling coming up with a name. It was a few weeks before the baby's due date, and we still weren't sure.
And then, BOOM, in a whirlwind of a few days, I was being tested constantly, got diagnosed with preeclampsia, was told I needed to not be pregnant any more, was induced, and suddenly we were having a baby. One of the first things Jason and I said as they hooked me up to the IVs was "Sorry, baby girl. We don't have a name for you yet."
Things got increasingly more complicated. Inductions turned into C-sections and then my baby was needing surgery and being ambulanced to another hospital where I wouldn't see her for several days... And you know, my first priority at that point wasn't declaring a name. We had to take care of everyone's health first. And then I wanted to be able to see her, which people seemed a little understanding about.
So, when we filled out all the hospital paperwork we left the name portion blank. Her birth certificate had no name on it. As I was released from the hospital, the nurse wheeling me out teased, "Haven't you had 9 months to figure this out?!"
It was a little entertaining to arrive at the Primary's Medical Center NICU. All of her tags read "Baby Girl" or "BG Brown," while the rest of the NICU babies had sweet name tags lovingly decorated by their nurses.
Family members were texting and emailing asking what her name was. After all, I had now seen her and held her and stuff. We didn't have one yet.
I distinctly remember Mother's Day. My husband and I sat with my 5 day old baby in the NICU, enjoying the warm sun coming in her corner window and mostly really grateful to be spending time all together. We tried out names for a few hours. We were a little surprised at the process. We had always thought that once we saw her it would be obvious. It wasn't. In fact, as we stared down at this little baby's face and tried to determine what to call her, it was much harder.
When the doctor passed through, he had to comment. "If she's not named by the end of the shift, I'm just naming her. Okay? Maybe Emily. That'd be a good name for her." Eventually we decided on a name we had talked about. Naomi. We had liked it, and decided we'd try it. We'd call her Naomi. We also really liked the name Greta, and talked about that as a middle name?
We wrote out a little nametag and put it on her bassinet as we left, and the nurses winked at us.
As we talked with family that night, we talked about the name.
Here's the thing.
It wasn't sitting well with me.
In fact, I couldn't even get the words out to say the name to my own family. Jason had to say it. And I was too uncomfortable to talk about it. I knew that I thought "Naomi Greta" had zero percent flow to it, but I also just wasn't sure in general.
I knew it was probably my own lack of commitment and indecisiveness holding me back, so I tried to be bold. We announced the first name "Naomi" on facebook. Pretty committal, right? Telling hundreds of people?
Turns out not even that did the trick.
As time went on, I liked it less and less. I anguished more and more. And I didn't like all the associations and pronunciations of the name that I hadn't fully considered.
For a little bit, our families called her Naomi. I didn't really call her much of anything. And then I opened up to everyone about how I didn't like it and was thinking that we might need to try something else.
Let me tell you, that stirs the pot!
I thought a 5 day old baby without a name was bad, but it really gets interesting at week 2 or 3.
I had a sweet grandma comment, "Changing it? But I've already told everyone the name is Naomi!"
"Me too, Grandma. Me too."
I didn't need a name for her. I spent all day with her and could call her "baby girl," or "sweetheart," or all sorts of things just fine. But other people were pretty sure they needed something to call her.
It really wore on me and I anguished about it. It wore on Jason, too. I still have to-do lists from those first few weeks with "NAME" written on the top of it. And by this point, everyone else was more vocally chiming in with what names they liked. I guess that's how it goes when you have a child, there in the flesh, without a name.
Finally, on her due date, we started to settle. I was really feeling much more decided on the first name of Greta. And then in the car that night, Jason suggested the middle name "Ruby."
I gasped. It was a great fit. I called my mom in excitement. We might have a name! We weren't totally settled, but we might have a name!
We tried it out for a few more days. Greta Ruby. It was feeling good. It was feeling right. It WAS feeling different than Naomi ever did. It felt like something I liked--and that I didn't care if anyone else liked it, because I did.
Finally, on her one month birthday, we took her down to county health office and got it officially on a birth certificate. Our baby girl. Greta Ruby Brown.
We reannounced.
People made fun of us for the first, oh, year. Except for when they still make fun of us.
(FOR THE RECORD: if you ever find yourself in this situation, you should know that you do NOT need to have a name when you leave the hospital. Also, it was not hard at all to get a birth certificate/social security card amended. It took half an hour, maybe, and cost $18. The process was not actually a big deal and don't let people scare you or make you feel guilty about it. If you need more time to name your child, take the time you need.)
Right. Last time.
We were really struggling coming up with a name. It was a few weeks before the baby's due date, and we still weren't sure.
And then, BOOM, in a whirlwind of a few days, I was being tested constantly, got diagnosed with preeclampsia, was told I needed to not be pregnant any more, was induced, and suddenly we were having a baby. One of the first things Jason and I said as they hooked me up to the IVs was "Sorry, baby girl. We don't have a name for you yet."
Things got increasingly more complicated. Inductions turned into C-sections and then my baby was needing surgery and being ambulanced to another hospital where I wouldn't see her for several days... And you know, my first priority at that point wasn't declaring a name. We had to take care of everyone's health first. And then I wanted to be able to see her, which people seemed a little understanding about.
So, when we filled out all the hospital paperwork we left the name portion blank. Her birth certificate had no name on it. As I was released from the hospital, the nurse wheeling me out teased, "Haven't you had 9 months to figure this out?!"
It was a little entertaining to arrive at the Primary's Medical Center NICU. All of her tags read "Baby Girl" or "BG Brown," while the rest of the NICU babies had sweet name tags lovingly decorated by their nurses.
Family members were texting and emailing asking what her name was. After all, I had now seen her and held her and stuff. We didn't have one yet.
I distinctly remember Mother's Day. My husband and I sat with my 5 day old baby in the NICU, enjoying the warm sun coming in her corner window and mostly really grateful to be spending time all together. We tried out names for a few hours. We were a little surprised at the process. We had always thought that once we saw her it would be obvious. It wasn't. In fact, as we stared down at this little baby's face and tried to determine what to call her, it was much harder.
When the doctor passed through, he had to comment. "If she's not named by the end of the shift, I'm just naming her. Okay? Maybe Emily. That'd be a good name for her." Eventually we decided on a name we had talked about. Naomi. We had liked it, and decided we'd try it. We'd call her Naomi. We also really liked the name Greta, and talked about that as a middle name?
We wrote out a little nametag and put it on her bassinet as we left, and the nurses winked at us.
As we talked with family that night, we talked about the name.
Here's the thing.
It wasn't sitting well with me.
In fact, I couldn't even get the words out to say the name to my own family. Jason had to say it. And I was too uncomfortable to talk about it. I knew that I thought "Naomi Greta" had zero percent flow to it, but I also just wasn't sure in general.
I knew it was probably my own lack of commitment and indecisiveness holding me back, so I tried to be bold. We announced the first name "Naomi" on facebook. Pretty committal, right? Telling hundreds of people?
Turns out not even that did the trick.
As time went on, I liked it less and less. I anguished more and more. And I didn't like all the associations and pronunciations of the name that I hadn't fully considered.
For a little bit, our families called her Naomi. I didn't really call her much of anything. And then I opened up to everyone about how I didn't like it and was thinking that we might need to try something else.
Let me tell you, that stirs the pot!
I thought a 5 day old baby without a name was bad, but it really gets interesting at week 2 or 3.
I had a sweet grandma comment, "Changing it? But I've already told everyone the name is Naomi!"
"Me too, Grandma. Me too."
I didn't need a name for her. I spent all day with her and could call her "baby girl," or "sweetheart," or all sorts of things just fine. But other people were pretty sure they needed something to call her.
It really wore on me and I anguished about it. It wore on Jason, too. I still have to-do lists from those first few weeks with "NAME" written on the top of it. And by this point, everyone else was more vocally chiming in with what names they liked. I guess that's how it goes when you have a child, there in the flesh, without a name.
Finally, on her due date, we started to settle. I was really feeling much more decided on the first name of Greta. And then in the car that night, Jason suggested the middle name "Ruby."
I gasped. It was a great fit. I called my mom in excitement. We might have a name! We weren't totally settled, but we might have a name!
We tried it out for a few more days. Greta Ruby. It was feeling good. It was feeling right. It WAS feeling different than Naomi ever did. It felt like something I liked--and that I didn't care if anyone else liked it, because I did.
Finally, on her one month birthday, we took her down to county health office and got it officially on a birth certificate. Our baby girl. Greta Ruby Brown.
We reannounced.
People made fun of us for the first, oh, year. Except for when they still make fun of us.
(FOR THE RECORD: if you ever find yourself in this situation, you should know that you do NOT need to have a name when you leave the hospital. Also, it was not hard at all to get a birth certificate/social security card amended. It took half an hour, maybe, and cost $18. The process was not actually a big deal and don't let people scare you or make you feel guilty about it. If you need more time to name your child, take the time you need.)
No comments:
Post a Comment