Something I wrote in January, but never got around to posting. Enjoy!
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So, we announced this pregnancy relatively late in the game. It didn't hit social media until 25 weeks along. But what might really surprise you is that our families didn't even know until after 20 weeks. I know, right? What were we thinking?
Well. Let me explain.
Last September as we piled in the Subaru and drove to Dallas, we laughed about how I was secretly 8 weeks pregnant and no one knew yet. We laughed about how when we came back I'd be very visibly pregnant with a bump and everything--and laughed about the possibility of not telling anyone until then.
I mean... Right?! Best joke/Christmas surprise ever?! Jason and I chuckled about how funny it could be. And we thought other people would have a lot of fun with it, and everyone would be so surprised and laugh and be excited. It would be great.
We'd heard of people joking about that sort of thing. Not telling anyone they were expecting and then showing up with this big baby belly. But this was different. We weren't just laughing about an idea. We thought we might actually try it, and that we legitimately might have a chance to pull it off.
So we didn't tell.
No. It's not that it was quite that simple.
When the pregnancy got scary and hard and threatened to miscarry several times, we talked about telling our families. When my sister announced that she was pregnant, you can better believe it was darn near impossible not to tell her I was pregnant, too. But for many careful reasons (aside from practical jokes), we decided to keep it down low.
It got trickier as time went along. I had to very carefully choose what outfits I could wear on webcam. We were careful with published pictures. We watched our words carefully. The week before Christmas came along, and we found ourselves back in the Subaru driving across the United States and ready to greet family... with a bit of (very visible) news.
Here are a few cautions for anyone tempted to try this at home:
1) Not even your family is bold enough to ask if you're pregnant or if you had too much barbecue in Texas.
(Seriously! Out of all of our family members, I had ONE brother say "So... what's the deal? are you great with child? Or is that a new fat belly?")
2) You start getting phone calls of people wanting to "catch up," which may or may not be related to running into their families with a very obvious baby bump that no one addressed.
3) You might notice people's eyes darting to your midsection just before starting a conversation.
4) Instead of making one announcement, or a few announcements, you actually have to announce it like 60 times as you make your way around the room at family Christmas parties. This is not the way to do it, people.
5) When people find out, they don't know what to say.
They'll say things like, "Oh I didn't even notice!" which you both recognize is pretty far from the truth.
Or they'll say "I thought you might be..."
Or another "I wanted to tell you how cute your belly looked, but... you know, you just never know."
Most options are a little awkward for at least one person. And it means you have to have way more conversations about your belly and size than any pregnant woman really wants to.
6) No one thought it was hilarious. Joke's on us.
The good takeaway from all this is that apparently most humans we know have learned never to assume someone's pregnant, at least out loud. But, turns out, our family is not going to tell this story with glee in years to come like we imagined they might.
Regardless of what they thought of such an announcement, everyone's been excited for this baby girl to arrive. We are too. And for anyone wondering at home, this is what things look(ed) like at 30 weeks:
PS: We still think that deciding when to announce a pregnancy is a very personal decision. You well might have reason to tell people at 4 weeks or 14 weeks or 24 weeks or not to announce and that's okay. We've had enough experience to learn that it's complicated and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Though we won't repeat this kind of announcement ever again, we'll still take it on a pregnancy-by-pregnancy basis as far as announcement timing.
--------
So, we announced this pregnancy relatively late in the game. It didn't hit social media until 25 weeks along. But what might really surprise you is that our families didn't even know until after 20 weeks. I know, right? What were we thinking?
Well. Let me explain.
Last September as we piled in the Subaru and drove to Dallas, we laughed about how I was secretly 8 weeks pregnant and no one knew yet. We laughed about how when we came back I'd be very visibly pregnant with a bump and everything--and laughed about the possibility of not telling anyone until then.
I mean... Right?! Best joke/Christmas surprise ever?! Jason and I chuckled about how funny it could be. And we thought other people would have a lot of fun with it, and everyone would be so surprised and laugh and be excited. It would be great.
We'd heard of people joking about that sort of thing. Not telling anyone they were expecting and then showing up with this big baby belly. But this was different. We weren't just laughing about an idea. We thought we might actually try it, and that we legitimately might have a chance to pull it off.
So we didn't tell.
No. It's not that it was quite that simple.
When the pregnancy got scary and hard and threatened to miscarry several times, we talked about telling our families. When my sister announced that she was pregnant, you can better believe it was darn near impossible not to tell her I was pregnant, too. But for many careful reasons (aside from practical jokes), we decided to keep it down low.
It got trickier as time went along. I had to very carefully choose what outfits I could wear on webcam. We were careful with published pictures. We watched our words carefully. The week before Christmas came along, and we found ourselves back in the Subaru driving across the United States and ready to greet family... with a bit of (very visible) news.
Here are a few cautions for anyone tempted to try this at home:
1) Not even your family is bold enough to ask if you're pregnant or if you had too much barbecue in Texas.
(Seriously! Out of all of our family members, I had ONE brother say "So... what's the deal? are you great with child? Or is that a new fat belly?")
2) You start getting phone calls of people wanting to "catch up," which may or may not be related to running into their families with a very obvious baby bump that no one addressed.
3) You might notice people's eyes darting to your midsection just before starting a conversation.
4) Instead of making one announcement, or a few announcements, you actually have to announce it like 60 times as you make your way around the room at family Christmas parties. This is not the way to do it, people.
5) When people find out, they don't know what to say.
They'll say things like, "Oh I didn't even notice!" which you both recognize is pretty far from the truth.
Or they'll say "I thought you might be..."
Or another "I wanted to tell you how cute your belly looked, but... you know, you just never know."
Most options are a little awkward for at least one person. And it means you have to have way more conversations about your belly and size than any pregnant woman really wants to.
6) No one thought it was hilarious. Joke's on us.
The good takeaway from all this is that apparently most humans we know have learned never to assume someone's pregnant, at least out loud. But, turns out, our family is not going to tell this story with glee in years to come like we imagined they might.
Regardless of what they thought of such an announcement, everyone's been excited for this baby girl to arrive. We are too. And for anyone wondering at home, this is what things look(ed) like at 30 weeks:
PS: We still think that deciding when to announce a pregnancy is a very personal decision. You well might have reason to tell people at 4 weeks or 14 weeks or 24 weeks or not to announce and that's okay. We've had enough experience to learn that it's complicated and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Though we won't repeat this kind of announcement ever again, we'll still take it on a pregnancy-by-pregnancy basis as far as announcement timing.
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